nimona

Jun. 10th, 2025 02:09 am
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
kossai struggle with movies and TV , and not always sure why . but tonight mood strike , and finally sit down to watch ... nimona .
remember when people would talk about how celeste destroy emotions and leave in teary wreck , but kossai did not get that . wonderful game , but in some ways just did not click with madeline's problems like others did .

nimona though ... do kossai recognise that in stories like rusted moss and nimona , nonhumanity intend as allegory ? yes . but just by nature of kossai as physical nonhuman , those aspects feel very literal , and speak to core on that level .

absolute wreck now . need crossover hangout sesh with nimona and fern , stat .

struggle thoughts

Jun. 8th, 2025 11:41 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
in think about real time social groups , and why kossai struggle ...
things can move fast . really fast . already take kossai longer than anyone else to think of and write messages , even simple ones . this leave kossai with 2 choices .

first choice is to not push speed , to take as much time as necessary to formulate and word thoughts .
end result of this : everyone move on in conversation by time kossai can contribute , and have nothing more to say to contributions . in both real life scenarios and in games like vrchat , people can forget kossai was even there , and move on without even realise kossai get split off . so just feel like might as well not even be there , and ruin fun if stay .

second choice is to push speed , to say as much as possible , as quickly as possible - even if botch words , not explain well , or if answers very short .
end result of this : people punish kossai for social blunders , miscommunications , and lack of clarity that did not have time to think through - and also tend to assume short answers means not really care about conversations . but rarely do people even explain this much , just chalk this up to bad vibes or say idk just uncomfy without any explanation of why , or any grace and compassion for how these things only happen because literally force to rush , and remove from group .

in both cases also come across situations where kossai struggle more than usual - say for example , recent seizure , lack of sleep , etc - but still try really hard to participate , even if not fully coherent , and people laugh at kossai outright .

so , there is no win , and kossai give up on try those things . even struggle with non-group , non-real time things , but this is definitely where weakest , and where people give least kindness .

my little pony ~ changelings

Jun. 8th, 2025 02:21 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
in think about my little pony connections , would probably suspect changelings ! um ... sort of ... and sort of not .

love general concepts , right up until thorax happen . like thorax is this special visionary , where changelings can just share love and be fine - no , better than fine ! just kind of hate that . like yes tyrannical queen and hivemind , whatever , but even show characterise during this episode that changelings all born inherently mean and spitty , and thorax was just super special exception . this kind of make weird later that not only do other changelings immediately cave when thorax demonstrate new form , but why no one before thorax seem to have this capability and yet now suddenly everyone do .

there is definitely stuff to criticise about concepts of hivemind vs individuality , and how lines can be blurry and weird and maybe not always useful to pit against one another , but others probably say that better .

so will instead turn attention to this idea that no one will love changelings unless look and behave just like ponies , which is problem when biologically need to feed off of love . have ability to shapeshift , but this is seen as cheat , thievery , and deception , which means methods to get there must be underhand - first characterise as evil just for biological needs , then force changelings to prove this perception right out of starvation and desperation . therefore , " reward " for selfless changelings who share love freely ... is to look and behave just like ponies . not for ponies to look at these weird buggy guys and extend hoof first , no ! changelings must change for ponies , in every scenario here - difference is just whether or not ponies consider to be evil .

also , visually think some of these guys suck . like understand in cartoon for kids will need named characters to be recognisable and merchandisable , but like , kind of ick ? especially colour palettes . absolutely can still make designs more in line with originals that look fun and unique , but guess not cute enough for toys or whatever , even if let changelings be different colours than just black . would much prefer if these new designs would be intentional disguises - something that changelings feel still need to take on in order to gain pony acceptance , but ultimately take toll on feelings because acceptance is conditional . ponies would come to realise how much this actually hurt and make efforts to get over discomfort .

that is version of changelings which kossai connect with . do like that thorax is able to form bonds and feed in moderation because of bonds , but think weird to be some first of kind visionary - changeling inability to form bonds should not be because of biology and apparent hivemind structure , but because ponies make assumptions because of these things . would also much prefer if metamorphosis was not this innate biological reward - changelings should get to look like changelings , and act like changelings , without ponies determine which is good and which is evil , which is ugly and which is pretty .

gee , wonder why faeries would think that . :P

forum troubles

Jun. 7th, 2025 10:35 pm
kossai: masculine form of kossai (Default)
[personal profile] kossai
recently join physical nonhuman specific forum , glad to have something like this . on tumblr there continue to be incorrect definitions and cruel pushback against physical nonhumans , specifically from other folks who make claim to this label , under claims that experience is non-literal and " not like those crazy people " . appeal to sanists is game which will never win , and sorely wish more folks would learn that .

of course , barrier of entry to forum is not exactly huge , not like some older plural or alterhuman forums that require application or anything . but with that barrier of entry , as well as general forum format ... so far , seem like no nonsense happen here .

... but also , not too much legitimate activity either this last little while . kossai not even post very much overall , but make up about half of posts from last 10 days . do not want to over-post and " hog " forum , but if there is nothing for anyone to comment on ... then ... well no one will comment . and if there is no one who comment on anything , then some folks might feel there is no point to post , and then forum will actually die out when still so new .

possibly not help that this forum have like button for posts , which is easy way to acknowledge without need to comment , and leave what could be very neat conversations dead in water . however unsure if host service make this feature mandatory , so will not blame admin so much as shake fist at this like button internet culture .

one of those uphill battles ... hopefully some folks hop back on again soon .

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